2/22/08
Wall Street Journal: Daddy's DNA,
by Christine Rosen
The cultural stereotype of infidelity is well entrenched: The
lousy, cheating husband who destroys his family makes frequent appearances in
the advice columns of women's magazines and is a stock character (usually played
opposite a vulnerable Valerie Bertinelli-type) in made-for-TV movies.
Yet the problem of female infidelity is equally serious,
particularly when it results in the birth of a child. When a woman strays, how
can a man know if the child is really his? Maury Povich has made paternity
testing a staple of his TV show. And while the DNA samples in his "Who's
Your Daddy?" segments have revealed the paternity of plenty of guys who had
been unwilling to acknowledge their flesh-and-blood offspring, the test results
have also shown that the doubts of many other men were fully justified. A
surprising number of the women who contacted Maury to prove paternity, in fact,
had no clear idea of who their children's father was -- some have appeared on
the show countless times trying to solve the mystery. Often a man is so relieved
when Maury bellows "You are NOT the father!" that he ecstatically
whoops and dances around the stage while Maury attempts to comfort the obviously
distraught mother.
But outside the world of daytime television, the "Who's
Your Daddy?" problem -- "paternal discrepancy" is the official
term for a situation where a man is unknowingly raising another man's child --
has had little impact on the public consciousness unless it involves
celebrities. The dueling claims to fatherhood made in the wake of Anna Nicole
Smith's death and actor Eddie Murphy's false claim not to have fathered the
daughter of Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown come to mind.
That might be about to change, though. In a 2005 article in
the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, researchers who had studied
families in the
U.S.
, Europe,
Russia
,
Canada
,
South Africa
and several other countries wrote that they had found rates of paternal
discrepancy of about 4%, on average. Which means that approximately one man in
25 named as the biological father on a child's birth certificate is not the real
father -- and may not know it. The authors of the study also noted an apparent
increase in public interest in determining paternity: Between 1991 and 2001, the
number of people seeking paternity tests more than doubled in the
U.S.
, to 310,490. Although it is difficult to measure whether infidelity is on the
rise, these numbers suggest that suspicion about it might be.
For every burgeoning cultural crisis there is a product that
offers to solve it: Enter Identigene, a company owned by Sorenson Genomics that
is now selling an over-the-counter paternity test. Available in Rite-Aid and
Meijer drugstores nationwide (as well as over the Internet), the test has a
suggested retail price of $29.99 (plus an additional $119 lab fee). The box
features a tasteful sketch of mother and child and promises test results
"admissible in most courts of law" three to five business days after
you send in cheek swabs from the child and "alleged father." As
Identigene's Web site promises, "Putting your mind at ease, or making sure
that a potential parent acts responsibly, has never been more convenient,
confidential, affordable, or accurate."
The benefits of over-the-counter paternity testing are clear,
particularly for men, and Identigene seems subtly to be marketing the test to
them. The Web site notes, for example, that "32% of all paternity tests
exclude alleged fathers." Inexpensive paternity testing could theoretically
level the playing field for men involved in child-support cases; court-ordered
tests can cost as much as $500. Paternity fraud litigation is on the rise; a
2006 study in
New Hampshire
found that nearly 30% of fathers paying child support were not the biological
parent of the child they were helping. Fathers' rights advocates have been
working to change state laws that, although well-intentioned in their effort to
protect children from the taint of illegitimacy, have long held that married men
are legally assumed to be the fathers of children born to the marriage, even in
the face of genetic evidence to the contrary.
In fact, the increasing popularity of paternity testing seems
to confirm what sociobiologists have been noting for years: From a strictly
genetic point of view, it has always been in some women's interest to adopt a
"mixed mating" strategy -- acquiring supposedly superior genes from
one man but turning to another for the resources to raise the child. Indeed, a
recent study in the Journal of Theoretical Biology argues that one reason men
produce so many defective sperm during any given sexual interaction is that they
are required to produce so much so quickly -- as part of a broader evolutionary
strategy to try to compensate for the fact of female infidelity.
But paternity testing raises new challenges as well, not
least with regard to privacy and consent. Identigene hawks a version of its
product called the "Discreet Paternity Test," which encourages
consumers to send in "licked stamps, ear wax, fingernail clippings, socks,
chewed gum" or a "used razor" to surreptitiously test another
person. Although it notes that such test results might not be legally binding in
court, the company adds that "sometimes it is important that the DNA test
is done without the knowledge of others."
Identigene's trademarked slogan is "For questions only
DNA testing can answer." It even offers a "DNA Consultant" via a
toll-free number. But it seems unlikely that the perky looking woman pictured
with a headset on its Web site will be able to guide you through the emotional
mine field that your marriage will become if you find your husband swiping your
baby's cheek with a gigantic Q-Tip or surreptitiously searching your handsome
male neighbor's garbage for a bit of chewed gum.
There are some questions raised by paternity testing that
even the most devoted ethicists (and marriage counselors) might have trouble
answering. These tests are really tests of trust. And like many modern
technologies of suspicion, such as GPS tracking devices and software that
secretly tracks the keystrokes on another person's computer -- they make it very
easy, perhaps too easy, to indulge our doubts about our significant others.
Perhaps the growing interest in paternity testing reveals a
broader cultural anxiety about fidelity in contemporary society, an anxiety
exacerbated by the fact that an increasing number of parents bear and rear
children outside the institution of marriage. Adam Phillips, a British
psychotherapist who has published a book of pithy observations on monogamy,
writes: "Not everyone believes in monogamy, but everyone lives as though
they do. . . . Believing in monogamy, in other words, is not unlike believing in
God." In the church of monogamy there are many secret heretics. New
technologies might help us discover infidelity with more accuracy and
convenience, but they are unlikely to solve the more vexing and timeless dilemma
of why we stray.
Ms. Rosen is a fellow at the
Ethics & Public Policy
Center
in
Washington
.
8/6/07 Associated Press:
DNA shows Chris Rock not the dad, lawyer says,
Savannah
,
Ga.
A lawyer for Chris Rock said Monday that a
court-ordered DNA test proved Rock is not the father of a 13-year-old boy whose
mother tried to sue the comedian for support earlier this year.
Rock's attorney, John Mayoue of
Atlanta
, said a
Bulloch
County
judge sent results of the paternity test to lawyers on both sides of the
case.
"The results of the test are that Chris Rock is not the
father of this child," Mayoue said. "It is conclusive."
The mother, however, disputed the test results.
Kali Bowyer, who lives in
Bulloch
County
west of
Savannah
, tried in March to file a paternity lawsuit against Rock seeking child support
and medical coverage for her son, Jordan. She withdrew the lawsuit after court
officials told her it was outside the southeast
Georgia
county's jurisdiction because Rock is a
New Jersey
resident.
However, Rock asked the
Georgia
court in April to start paternity proceedings to resolve the case.
Bulloch County Superior Court Judge John R. Turner ordered
DNA testing on Rock and the boy June 8.
Rock and his wife, Malaak, said in a statement Monday they
were happy to put the case to rest. They accused Bowyer of telling
"multiple lies" to sell her story to tabloids.
"We also express our deepest prayers for the welfare of
Ms. Bowyer's son who has continually been embarrassed and exposed in the media
by his mother," Rock's statement said.
Bowyer said Monday she had never received money for her story
and she believed Rock had violated a confidentiality agreement by making the
paternity test results public.
"I could've sworn we weren't supposed to talk about it
until we were done with mediation," Bowyer said.
She said she planned to ask the judge to order another DNA
test to challenge the results of the one that ruled out Rock as her child's
father.
Bowyer, 35, said she met Rock at a Los Angeles nightclub when
she was living in California 13 years ago.
She denied making any money from the case despite offers of
thousands of dollars from television shows and tabloid magazines.
"I am sick and tired of being made out to be a liar and
a fraud," she said.
Rock recently directed and starred in the film "I Think
I Love My Wife," and is behind the hit television series "Everybody
Hates Chris," which is based on his childhood. He and his wife have been
married for 10 years and have two young children.
6/22/07
Wall Street Journal: The Informed Reader: Genetic Testing Begets Paternity
Surprises from The
Atlantic
- July/August,
As genetic testing has become more common, so has an
uncomfortable side effect: paternity surprises. Genetics students, reports Steve
Olsen in the
Atlantic
, are commonly taught that 5% to 15% of the men on birth certificates arent
the biological parents of their children (subscription required). Men pass their
Y chromosome to their sons intact, so it is possible to trace fatherhood back
many generations. As more people opt to have DNA tests to check for genetic
diseases or to explore family history, the more geneticists are finding that
some mens fathers arent who they thought they were. Any project that
has more than 20 or 30 people in it is likely to have an oops in it,
says Bennett Greenspan, whose company, Family Tree DNA, tries to find common
links for separate families.
The rate of non-paternity can vary from community to
community. The Sorenson Genealogy Foundation in
Salt Lake City
found that the nonpaternity rate from a sample of father-son pairs among its
100,000 volunteers is less than 2%. At the other extreme, Mr. Olson reports that
an unpublished study of blood groups in a British town found that around 30% of
the towns husbands werent the fathers of their children.
Such revelations are likely to increase as medical advances
and cheaper technology allow doctors to determine patients susceptibility to
certain diseases through a scan of their DNA. Indeed, the Personal Genome
Project at
Harvard
University
warns potential volunteers to have their DNA sequences posted on the Web that
they could be used to infer paternity. While geneticists in large
population studies tend to keep the news to themselves, genetic counselors, who
help parents of children with birth defects decide whether they should have more
children, generally tell the couple what has happened. In such cases, most
counselors inform the mother, but not the father a practice a vocal minority
within the trade disputes. Robin Moroney
2/2/07 Miami Herald: Man
must support child who is not his; The state Supreme Court ruled that a man must
pay child support for a kid who isn't his, but a new law could help him escape
the payments,
by Marc Caputo
Tallahassee
- Richard Edward Parker seemed to have the
perfect evidence to avoid child-support payments: a DNA test showing the child
isn't his.
Florida
's Supreme Court unanimously ruled Thursday that
the
Fort Lauderdale
boat worker missed a one-year deadline to file a claim against his estranged
wife, Margaret J. Parker, for fraudulently representing his paternity when a
court ordered him to pay support for the 3-year-old boy in 2001.
10/30/06 Miami Herald:
Florida
men get a break on false paternity: A new state law allows men a way out of
child-support payments when they can prove that they are not the child's
biological father,
by Monica Hatcher
Bobby Rhames never suspected that his live-in girlfriend
might be cheating on him, so he didn't ask questions when she became pregnant.
''She said it was mine, and I didn't doubt it,'' Rhames, a
carpenter who lives in
Quincy
, remembered thinking.
Doubts surfaced seven years later, after the couple split and
after a few weird comments and unexplained incidents. Rhames took the child for
a DNA test. The result, he said, blew his mind: He was not the father. He was
equally bewildered, though, when a state judge refused to release him from $450
monthly child-support payments, a hefty chunk of his pay.
Until recently, men like Rhames have raged against
Florida
's legal system that has forced them to pay for other men's children.
Many may now have a way to shed that financial burden
legally.
Florida
's so-called ''paternity fraud'' law took effect
in July. It gives a man up to 18 years from a child's birth to challenge a
paternity judgment when genetic evidence shows that he is not the biological
father and other conditions are met.
If he prevails, his obligation to pay child support ends.
Men's-rights groups say the law is a small step in correcting
a system that has penalized innocent men for the lies and mistakes of others.
OBVIOUSLY UNFAIR'
''This bill brings fairness back to the process,'' said Rep.
Curtis Richardson (D-Tallahassee), the bill's main sponsor. ``It was obviously
unfair to these men, and in some instances their families.''
Rhames said he and his wife are going without health
insurance to make the child-support payments. Other men have complained of
having to deny things to their biological children to pay for those who are not.
It's unclear how many men may be able to take advantage of
the new law.
Statistics gathered by the Florida Department of Revenue
indicate that men who contest claims in paternity suits are frequently
exonerated by DNA tests. Last year, 30 percent of the 15,495 men targeted as
possible fathers in paternity proceedings turned out not to be.
Tony Spalding, executive director of Fort Lauderdale-based
Dads Against Discrimination, said he knew of at least 20 men who had already
begun legal action.
Rhames, for one, already has a court date set in
Gadsden
County
to make his case. He'll be required to show the judge that he is current on his
payments, provide the DNA test results, and attest, by meeting various
conditions, that he was unaware the child was not his when he took
responsibility.
''I think it's a big victory,'' Rhames said.
But child advocates say the law is not a victory for
everyone.
They point to the absence of a provision requiring the court
to consider the best interest of the child.
'If, after seven years of raising this child, of being the
dad, of acting like the dad, of loving the child -- what does it do to the child
to let somebody pop up and say, `Whoops, I don't want to be your dad anymore,'
'' said Andrea Moore, executive director of Florida's Children First.
''Parenting is not only a biological event,''
Moore
added. ``We are making children suffer for the bad acts of their parents.''
Women caring for children also will lose what may be vital
support. The average monthly cost of raising a child in a single-parent
household last year was $609.86, according to the U.S. Department of
Agriculture.
Previously, the law did not provide a means to challenge a
paternity ruling, unless a man contested the judgment within a year after a
divorce.
In a high-profile paternity case in
Broward
County
earlier this year, a judge threw out the case of Robert Parker, who could prove
that he was not the biological father of his ex-wife's baby, because he filed
after the statute of limitations. He was ordered to continue to pay $1,200 a
month for the child.
The law has traditionally assumed that a married man is the
father of any child born of the marriage, even if it isn't his.
Paternity, or the state or condition of being a father, is
usually established during divorce proceedings to decide child-support payments
and visitation rights.
For unwed couples, a man becomes a legal father by signing a
consent affidavit, usually at the hospital when the baby is born. The courts
also have the power to declare someone a dad for the purpose of establishing
child-support payments.
TESTS LITTLE-KNOWN
DNA tests, which cost between $100 and $150, are not
mandatory, and many men don't know to ask for them. That means there could be
thousands who are supporting children who are not theirs, said Ronald Henry, a
Washington
,
D.C.
, lawyer who wrote an article on paternity fraud in the spring issue of Family
Law Quarterly.
Welfare-reform legislation passed in 1996 brought financial
incentives to states that could meet targets for finding ''noncustodial''
parents, usually fathers.
The goal, Henry said, is to minimize welfare costs by
maximizing child-support collections from fathers. ''The only problem is nowhere
does the law say that you have to get the right guy,'' he said.
Darren Michaels of
Sarasota
, for example, claims that he was made to pay child support for a child he has
never seen or knew existed.
After dating for little more than a week, Michaels said, the
woman called a few months later to tell him she was pregnant.
'She said, `I'm pregnant and you might be the father. The
emphasis was on `might.' Then, next thing I know, I was being served papers.''
Michaels, 45, works as an independent salesman to avoid
having his wages garnished.
Michaels claims that his lawyer told him not to attend the
court hearing. When he didn't show up, he was slapped with what is called a
default order for paternity and child support. He has been grappling with that
mistake for 14 years.
Michaels said the mother has ignored at least five court
orders to bring the child in for testing, yet he is still on the hook for the
money. He has no idea where the mother and child live. He said that he owes at
least $30,000 and that a warrant for his arrest has been issued.
''I've been living on the lam,'' he said. ``This is one of
America
's judicial hellholes.''
The new law doesn't allow a man who has paid child support to
recoup past payments, or to seek legal action against a woman who may have
deceived him or withheld information about other possible fathers.
Rhames believes that's the next step. First, men need to know
that the new law -- which the Legislature passed with little fanfare -- could
mean freedom from court-ordered payments.
''The law is going to change a lot of wrongdoing by women,''
Rhames said. ``I'm not talking bad about women either, only the ones out there
doing it. They should be prosecuted. It's fraud.''
10/31/99 Dallas Morning News: "DNA Tests
Don't Let Dads Off the Hook: Man Supports Sons Not Biologically His,"
DNA evidence of paternity - though widely used to order child
support payments - often is not accepted when trying to stop them.
A central reason is the U.S. judicial system's age-old,
hard-to-rebut presumption that husband equals father. There's no easy
place in the equation for the modern miracle of DNA testing, which in recent
years has brought powerful new facts to bear on legal matters and has given
families information they sometimes can't cope with.
Courts typically have made children's interests paramount,
determined to keep them from becoming innocent victims of a high-tech blood
feud. Financially and emotionally, the reasoning goes, minors need the man
who has functioned as their dad.
Officials estimate that accredited labs - those whose results
can be used in court - will perform more than 250,000 paternity tests this
year. That's more than triple the number a decade ago.
The companies' experience shows that women, for whatever
reason, misidentify the fathers of their children with some frequency. DNA
Diagnostics Center, an industry leader, says 30 percent of the men it tests
prove to be misidentified.
Similar numbers come from the Texas attorney general's
office, which enforces child support: about a quarter of the men who disputed
paternity in the last year turned out to be right. In Florida, the
proportion was one-third.
If a man stipulates during divorce that the children are his
and does not test until later, there is little hope of ending child
support. As a rule, courts bar people from relitigating a case once it has
been adjudicated and the appeal window has closed.
In an unpublished December 1998 opinion, a Texas appeals
court rejected a husband's claim that his ex-wife fraudulently concealed her
extramarital activity. That same month, a Philadelphia man lost a similar
fight before Pennsylvania's highest court and has since been unable to get a
hearing before the U.S. Supreme Court.
Even if the husband tries to contest paternity before
divorce, he may well fail. Several states - including California but not
Texas - allow no rebuttal of the fatherhood presumption unless the man can prove
he was sterile, impotent or not cohabitating with the woman at the time of
conception.
Other states do permit challenges such as DNA testing - but
only if it's done within 5 years of the child's birth, as currently recommended
by the National Commission on Uniform State Laws. Drafters on the
Commission have proposed to cut the number to 2 years, writing that "a
longer period may have severe consequences for the child."
Texas now has no limit tied to birth.
6/2/99 Wall Street Journal: Courts Favor Ancient Paternity Rule Over DNA
Tests,
by Margaret A. Jacobs
For centuries, when families fought over who was a child's
father, courts followed a rule known as the presumption of paternity.
The rule says that unless a man can show he Is sterile,
impotent or, In the words of 18th-century British jurist William Blackstone,
that he was beyond "the four seas bordering the kingdom" at the time
of conception, he is the legal father of any child born to his wife during their
marriage. First adopted by the Romans and then, 500 years ago, by the
English, the rule was intended to prevent husbands from attacking their wives'
fidelity in court.
Today, DNA testing can tell a married man with near certainty
whether he is the father of his wife's child. But appeals courts in many states
are disallowing genetic evidence in suits brought by husbands arguing they
shouldn't pay child support. Instead, the courts are clinging to the old
presumption of paternity rule.
The rule enjoys strong support from academics and women's
groups. Joan Entmacher, an attorney with the National Women's
Law
Center
, a nonprofit advocacy group in
Washington
,
D.C.
, says genetic testing heightens rancor between divorcing parties at a time when
courts are trying to make marital splits less adversarial and more focused on
children's needs. "Just because testing is available doesn't mean we should
allow it in every case," she says.
Many men disagree, including Gerald Miscovich, a computer
programmer from
Philadelphia
, who lost a seven-year battle to avoid paying child support to his ex-wife. In
December, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court voted to affirm a lower court ruling
saying "family interests" outweighed the ordering of blood tests that
might prove he isn't the father of his ex-wife's son, also named Gerald. The
lower court had found Mr. Miscovich had clearly established a bond with the boy,
who was four when Mr. Miscovich says he privately obtained DNA evidence of his
nonpaternity. Mr. Miscovich tried unsuccessfully to get a hearing at the U.S.
Supreme Court.
The high court last waded into the controversy in 1989, when
it rejected a California man's effort to establish through DNA evidence that he
was the biological father of a child born to his former lover and was therefore
entitled to visitation and other legal rights. The woman and her husband
objected. The court, by a 5-4 vote, ruled against the man, rejecting his view
that
California
's presumption of paternity was unconstitutional. The state's policy excludes
"inquiries into the child's paternity that would be destructive of family
Integrity and privacy," wrote Justice Scalia.
Now men's groups are lobbying state legislatures in
Pennsylvania
,
Michigan
,
Ohio
and other states to change paternity laws. In an age of jet travel and in vitro
fertilization, the presumption of paternity is antiquated," says Victor
Smith, president of Dads
Against Discrimination, a lobbying and support group for divorced and unwed
fathers in Portland, Ore. Mr. Smith argues that it's inconsistent that state
child-welfare agencies can use the results of DNA testing to establish that an
unmarried man is the father of a child, and therefore responsible for child
support, but not allow a married man to use it to get out of paying.
Meanwhile, a panel of judges, academies and lawyers convened
by the influential National Commission on Uniform State Laws is reviewing its
model law on parentage in light of advances in DNA testing technology.
"Technology has stood 500 years of law on its
head," says Paula Roberts, a
Washington
,
D.C.
, lawyer who is an advisor to the panel. For the past 10 years, courts have
allowed states to we DNA evidence to pin paternity on unmarried dads,
recognizing that the probability of the tests' accuracy is now as high as
99.99%.
When the group's model law was first written in the 1950s and
adopted by many states, Ms. Roberts says, tests based on blood typing could only
establish that a man wasn't the father, leaving the courts without any way to
determine who should
provide support.
In 1973, reflecting the development of more sophisticated
blood tests, the model law was revised to give judges the option of allowing the
tests as evidence until a child is five years old. About a dozen states follow
that model.
Now, the panel is expected to back away from that approach,
reflecting the insistence of many women that testing could prove emotionally and
financially devastating to children. Ms. Roberts says the group will compromise
and recommend that courts allow husbands to introduce genetic evidence of
nonpaternity only before a child is two years old.
Any recommendation by the panel would have to be approved by
the full National Commission on Uniform State Laws, by the American Bar
Association and state legislatures before it becomes law.
Even if the group's recommendation had been law when Mr.
Miscovich went to court, he would have been out of luck.
Although his son was 22 months old when he separated from his
wife, Mr. Miscovich waited until the boy was four to have a DNA test. He did So
at the urging of his new fiancee, who had pointed out that both Mr. Miscovich
and his ex-wife had blue eyes and couldn't have produced the brown-eyed child.
"I agonized over the decision to tell him," Mr.
Miscovich says.
He adds that his fiancee consulted a psychologist who said it
would be better for the boy to know the truth. But when he finally told the boy,
Mr. Miscovich says, his ex-wife moved across the state and told the child that
Mr. Miscovich didn't care for him.
Mr. Miscovich hasn't seen the boy, now 11, since then, though
he continues to pay more than $500 a month in child support.
Mr. Miscovich also says that, contrary to the court's
conclusion, he never developed a strong bond with the boy. However, he adds that
he would have liked to haven played "a limited nonparental role" in
the boy's life.
Mr. Miscovich's former wife, who has since remarried,
declined through her
lawyer to comment.
In
Ohio
, Dennis Caron, a corporate headhunter in
Columbus
, has brought a civil-rights suit in federal court alleging that the state's
paternity law is unconstitutional because it violates the equal-protection and
due-process rights of men.
After Mr. Caron's divorce was final in 1997, his ex-wife
hinted that he wasn't the biological father of then seven-year-old Tommy, Mr.
Caron says. Tests he subsequently had done on his own showed he wasn't the
biological father, he says. He then tried to overturn the divorce-and avoid
paying child support-by using the DNA test to prove fraud. The judge refused, he
says.
Mr. Caron then stopped making court ordered child-support
payments of $520 a month. He says he rarely sees Tommy and believes visits would
cause Tommy who knows that someone else is his biological father, too much pain.
Andrea Yagoda, a
Columbus
,
Ohio
, lawyer who represents Gina Manfresca, Mr. Caron's former wife, says her client
"believes Mr. Caron is the biological father of the boy and has no reason
to think otherwise."
Some trial-court judges, uncomfortable with imposing child
support on men who may have been deceived about their children's origins, have
accepted DNA evidence of nonpaternity.
In state court in
Portland
,
Ore.
, Judge Paula Kurshner recently told Steve Albrecht, a disk jockey, that she
would grant an unusual order of nonpaternity for his ex-wife's son, Tyler,
coupled with the right to visit the boy, who turns two in August.
"I was there at the hospital and I raised him until he
was a year and a half," says Mr. Albrecht.
Mr. Albrecht adds that he was in "complete sorrow"
after receiving the results of the DNA test. Still, he says he is grateful that
the ruling will save him $50,000 to $100,000 in child support and possibly
college tuition.
His ex-wife, Lisa Albrecht, an apartment manager in
Portland
, says she agreed to the test because she believed it would prove Mr. Albreeht
was the father of
Tyler
and would save her marriage.
Lisa Albrecht is now trying to get child, support from a
former boyfriend, who she believes fathered her son.
"The DNA test destroyed my life and
Tyler
's life," she says. Her son, she adds, doesn't understand what has happened
and just "wants his daddy."