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"We need to beef up our espionage of China. Let's recruit the Caucasians in China. Caucasians in a country of Chinese would be inconspicuous. After all, Caucasians have a natural affinity for other Caucasians. The English and the Irish both speak the same language, one of the most difficult to learn, and they both eat the same bad food. The French and the Germans are another example of Caucasians' natural affinity for each other. The ideal spy would be a Caucasian born in a communist country and who has lived in China for over 20 years. That background would make him or her sympathetic to the U.S. and the free market system. Let's try to get the information from the places with the most security, such as an atomic weapons research lab, and let's try to recruit someone who has worked with the Chinese government to help find American spies. If he gets caught, he shouldn't try to flee. No, he should voluntarily surrender his passport and stay in China for two years until the Commies figure out something to pin on him. Yes, I know there are hundreds of Chinese employees in China at defense contractors who we can bribe to steal the information, but that would be too easy. The French defense contractors already sold us the information, but we want to do this the hard way."
Let's Catch a Spy!
"It appears the Chinese have developed advanced weapons technology. Those goddamn defense contractors and high tech companies would sell their grandmother for a buck, and they whine: "If we don't make the sale, the French will". We're getting a lot of pressure from the politicians: you know, don't just sit there, do something. These are the same hypocrites who accept contributions from companies and vote to loosen export restrictions to China for whatever companies operate in their Congressional district. Does anyone care that China has the largest army of antiques in the world? Yeah, Korean War vintage. Hell, we don't have the time, money or clout to investigate the hundreds of convicted felons employed by defense contractors who have access to classified info. Even if we did find the guy, the defense contractor would be barred from doing business with the Pentagon, which would cost it billions. A dozen Congressmen would jump to lobby for the company, and the company would pay them off with campaign contributions. Let's have a public hanging to keep the mob entertained. The media will cooperate; they need to sell newspapers to the mob and commercials to the defense contractors. Find a chink to pin it on, and some ambitious prosecutor who wants to be the next Richard Nixon. Are we going to prosecute John Deutch, the CIA chief who loaded classified info onto his unsecure laptop, took it home, dialed up an unsecure line, and used the laptop to surf the web? or the guy in charge of security at the State Department who let the Russians plant a bug in Madeleine Albright's conference room? or the Dumb Guy who left top secret info on a laptop, then let it be stolen? or the guys who took from Los Alamos hard drives full of top secret info on how to dismantle other countries' nukes? Are you kidding? I want to get ahead, not commit career suicide."